Forgive THEM!?!?! I did..... didn't I?


At some point in life, you have to learn to forgive those who have hurt you (Eph. 4:32). Whether they are family, friends, co-workers, class mates or church family... it does not matter. We all make mistakes and cause hurt and pain to those that we love.

How often do we end up holding onto a bitterness toward another and not even realize we are doing so? What does bitterness come from? Hurt feelings? Yeah, sure your feelings have been hurt, but a root could be built upon pride in some regards. We get hurt by the actions or words of others and say nothing. Why? Because we falsely believe that they should already know what they have done. Really? Is that how we are meant to go through life? Are we really to expect everyone to read our thoughts and just know that they wronged us or hurt us?

 I am not speaking of anyone else or placing accusations on anyone. I am speaking of myself in a lot of ways. Being part of the human race and knowing that scripture states that no temptation has been brought into my life that no others deal with (1Cor. 10:13), I think I can safely say I am not alone in this. But this verse speaks of temptations you might be saying. Yes, your right. How is our getting upset at the one who hurt us and expecting them to know they did so not an act of pride? Pride is placing ourselves in position of authority in our life... dare I say as a god in our life. Therefore it is Sin. Not showing forgiveness for an action or word done against us... sin. So, under that thought process, we are hurt. The temptation is to not speak out and hold a grudge (become bitter) which is the worlds answer to the situation (sin). Gods way out is to immediately forgive them and then when and if the time comes, talk to the individual about the hurt they caused you with the correct spirit of humility (Romans 12:10, Matt. 18:15).
 
There are examples in our lives of those who have forgiven and left it there. They learned to not hold onto grudges. There are also those who decided to hold onto that pain and let it fester and cause great destruction in their life and the lives of those closest to them.
This week I had a realization that I was holding some bitterness towards others even after I said I forgave them. Did I "know" I was lying to them? Did I not really mean what I said when I forgave them? No, I meant it. I loved them and wanted to have a restoration of relationships. Today, though as I was reading and praying, the Lord lead my prayers in a direction I did not expect to go. A current event hit a sore spot... a wound that had been there for years. As I looked at it, I realized that I was still hurting in this area. I tried to mask it and bury it under the thoughts of "but I forgave them". Problem was that I was still carrying the load. I was still allowing the hurt to fester. I was hiding it and not letting God deal with me on the problem. In my pride and hurt of these long past events, I still had the thoughts of am I not good enough? What do I need to do to measure up to be accepted by them? Why do they not love me like they do others? What did I do wrong? All of these thoughts are not sinful in and of themselves. Neither is the implied motives of having a relationship with the individual. The sin came from my not speaking up. It came from my not talking with the person about how I perceived their actions and/or words towards me. It was my expectations of they should just "know". I failed to fully forgive the wrong that was done to me at the time and it festered. This "hurt" that I carried I swore I would not allow to affect my life or those that I loved. I purposed I would not treat others as I had been treated. I was wrong. This festering hurt turned into bitterness. Bitterness is like a cancer and spreads. Not only throughout many areas in my life, but it spreads to others. It will infect those closest to you and begin to destroy them as well. When it involves the raising of children, this "cancer" affects how you raise them. The hurts you are "hiding" come out in your training of your children and you inadvertently teach them to respond to hurts the same way as you. It is often by Gods grace that some children learn to respond to hurts in life differently than you because our salvation is a personal walk with God and He teaches us individually.
 
I will say that this "revelation" today has been a continuing answer to prayer. Months ago... if not a couple years back, I asked God to show me the roots of bitterness that I did know were in my life. Today was a digging deeper and pulling a root that had much attached to it. I have had to go through a very "dark valley" because of choices made by myself and others. This path has allowed or caused me to look to God in ways I never have before. Why? Because this pain and bitterness that I held onto corrupted my view of who God is and the love He has for me. I allowed perceived ideas to blind me to Gods true nature and love for me. This path has shown me so many errors in my thinking and sins in my life that were corrupting my family and relationships. I can and will only answer for myself when I stand before God. I trust more and more every day in His ability to repair what I have been a part of destroying. I chose to allow Him to work in my life and trust in the outcome of His working no matter what it is to bring honor and glory to Him.
 
Has this "revelation" brought me to salvation all over again? NO! I was saved once and forever. I am growing! THAT is a walk with God. We learn things and allow Him to change us with those lessons. We grow more. He shows us something new that we need to change or stop doing (sin). We submit to His will and grow more. Over time we become more Christ like. I have "control" over how fast or slow I grow in Him. When I fight His will, it is very slow. When I submit willingly and humbly, the growth is quicker. It is not an immediate change here on earth (there will be a changing over time), but our eternal destination is changed immediately at our salvation.
 
Maybe you have read through all of this and are wondering about your life? Are you saved? Does God love you? Well, Let me show you something.
1. (Romans 3:23) States that you are a sinner and will never be able to earn eternal life with God.
2. (Romans 6:23) Your sinful nature has you destined for an eternity separated from God and in hell.
3. (Romans 5:8) But God loved you so much that He sent His son to die for your sins on the cross.
4. (Romans 10:9) All you need to do is recognize you are a sinner and call on the name of the Lord to forgive your sins. It is not a "prayer" that saves you. It is believing in and trusting in what Christ did for you because of His love. He wants you to spend eternity with him. He wants to use you to reach others. He loves you.

Laterz...

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